August 8, 2013

Beauty Blender Dupe #FAIL

Okay ya'll, time to get serious.  Okay, you all, I don't know why I wrote ya'll.  I don't actually speak that way.  Hard to take myself seriously sayin' thangs like ya'll. (Yes, I know thangs isn't a word.) Okay, Audrey, SHUT.UP.NOW.  Ahem.

On to the topic at hand.  Anyone that truly knows me, deep down, knows that I'm cheap.  Well, maybe not cheap, but I refuse to pay a premium when I can get the same item for a much lower price.  And I LOVE bargain shopping.  Hence my addiction to stores like Ross, TJ Maxx and Marshall's.

I'm so obsessed with getting a great deal, that if someone compliments me on any part of my ensemble, I will respond with what a great deal I got on said item.  Oh, you like my shoes?  Thanks!  I only paid $12 for them.  75% off girl!  Oh, my eye make up looks really good today?  Thank you, I hit up a buy one get one sale at Ulta and scored HUGE with coupons.  It's like word vomit.  I can't keep it from spewing forth from my mouth.

Let's talk makeup applicators.  Most of the really great, quality applicators are spendy.  MAC brushes and Sigma brushes (although they are supposedly the more economical brand) are a lot for this momma to bite off. The brushes I'm currently lusting after are from Tarte.  They are soooo pretty, seem to be as environmentally friendly as they can get, and they are super duper soft.  But, I'm cheap.  So I'm currently collecting as many of the Real Techniques brushes as I can.  I'll do a review and explanation of that line at another time.

The latest and greatest, yet I'm still seemingly late to the party, of make up applicators is the Beauty Blender.  It's apparently the unicorn of sponges.  It contains magical properties that can not be understood by anyone, believed to make one's make up also contain magical properties.  It blends your make up like Claude Monet himself painted your face.  But for the price it better poo golden turds like a unicorn.  Like I said, I'm cheap.

The Beauty Blender, a pink egg shaped sponge, retails for $19, or $29 for two that they so creatively package in the shape of a heart.  I haven't taken a recent dose of crazy medicine, so I've been looking into a cheaper alternative.  There are a lot around if you look.  Sonia Kashuk has one that is shaped like a certain...well...never mind, I'll keep this G rated.  Anyway, you can get a Sonia Kashuk "beauty sponge" that is supposed to be a decent, cheaper alternative to the Beauty Blender.  Myself, still unprovoked to spend $12 on a indecently shaped sponge, decided to look a little further for a cheaper alternative.

I found the exact purplish, indecently shaped sponge under an alias at TJ Maxx during a haul this week for $4.  Alright dude, imma grab it up and test it out!  I've used my new little purple friend, we shall call her Luscious, a few times.  I give her the name Luscious, because after a few good rides she starts to rub you wrong.  Literally.

Image courtesy of

The past few days I started to use a couple new products in my skin care regime.  And the past few days I started getting red splotches the size of a dime in random areas on my face, mostly on my cheeks.  The first few days I didn't notice it until after I applied my blush, and then I spent far too long trying to *correct* my splotchy make up thinking it was the blush and not my skin itself.  Today I finally pin pointed it to my knock-off magical beauty sponge, Luscious.  My skin was completely fine, if not better than normal, until after I applied my foundation.  My foundation routine hasn't changed in quite some time.  Same product I've used for months.  Only change is the way I apply my foundation.

Now that I've pinpointed the culprit for creating my red itchy splotches I'm not sure I want to even try the Beauty Blender.  Apparently there is some chemical in these sponges that I'm allergic to.  I spent the majority of my morning googling my brains out to figure out what it could be.  All I could come up with is how these are actually a good alternative to the cheaper wedge sponges because they are latex free and supposedly hypoallergenic.  Well, I never had an issue with the cheap wedge sponges and I am with these, so I guess it's not a latex allergy.

I'm kind of heartbroken.  I had high hopes.  It seems no matter what fantastic brush I try for my foundation, I always end up with brush streaks and have to go back with a damp sponge to blend things in.  I wanted a magical, golden pooing, unicorn sponge.  All I got is a red splotchy, itchy face.

PS - Evidently there is a warning on the package of the faux wannabe magical sponge that states "WARNING: This product and/or its packaging contain a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects, and/or reproductive harm."  Well, that's fun.  Let us voluntarily melt off our faces.

PPS - Luscious was named by my fantastic googling powers and the words "stripper names".  Don't do it.  And if you do, DO NOT click on the link for stripper name generator.  It's not quite like the name generators that were floating around social media a few years ago.  You've been warned.


  1. Wow. Cancer sponge. That's fantastic (but not). I miss Ross and cheap things. Anywho, I need serious help with all of this. I just discovered makeup more or less like a month ago. So yeah...?! I'll be impatiently waiting for more "How to be a girl" posts.

    1. I will gladly help you on your quest of how to be a real girl haha. I miss you!

  2. I have stayed with the same makeup and brushes and routine for a lot of years because of breakouts that can occur when I don't. But, my point is I love that you search and try and do bargains but mostly I come over to read these things because you are just so damned funny! Keep up the good work and research Audrey! Love ya, Donna

  3. Hit up Walgreens and try the SoHo brand beauty sponge. it's like a pointy egg shape, and it's amazing!