A Year of Surviving

If your husband, wife, or significant other had to leave for a year, what would you do?  And you don't get a 'Get Out Of Jail Free' Card.  You have to put on your big girl panties.  Even if you don't want to wear your big girl panties or if you think that you aren't built to fit into the ginormous bloomers, they are strapped on with a pair of suspenders.

I can tell you, now that I'm on the tail end of this deployment adventure, at the beginning you make plans.  Even before 'they' leave.  I made plans in my head.  I wrote plans down in a journal and in my phone.  I made plans to exercise.  I made plans to take more adventures with the kids.  I made plans to experiment with new healthy recipes.  I made plans to go back to school.  I made plans to have fun and to enjoy myself the best I can.  I made plans to dye my hair a fun, unnatural color.  I made plans to try and forget that one side of our bed would remain cold for a year.

Then, before I could even start acting upon my plans, my plans were set ablaze.  I should've known.  "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry".  So then I modified all the plans written down.  Maybe I will try to exercise, but I probably won't turn into the bikini model I had planned for the future...that'll have to wait.  And maybe I won't be able to spend all summer in Destin with the kids, but I can watch them in the pool from the sliding glass door in the A/C.  As far as healthy recipes go, peanut butter and banana sandwiches are a form of health food, correct?  School is still very doable.  I won't quite scratch that one off yet.  Having fun may just get limited to weekend slumber parties with the kids on the living room floor.  And maybe I won't get awesome blue tipped hair, but the silver color at my roots is coming in nicely.  I wonder how far I can spread out in the star position and take up the entire bed on my own?

The dreaded day comes and goes.  Time to start a new phase of life.  A very foreign way of living.  For me, I immediately came home and cleaned out the fridge.  Because that seemed like a very sane thing to do.  I dropped my husband off to fly half way across the world for a year, drove four hours home bawling my eyes out to Taylor Swift the entire way, and walked into the house only to start throwing food away and bleaching glass shelves.  I realized the minute I pulled into the driveway plans were a good way to occupy the mind from the undesirable, but the only way to get through it was to simply survive.

We've gone through every important holiday once through, living separate, starting with Halloween.  I stayed up the night before, way too late, sewing ruffles on a petticoat.  If he was home, I would get scolded for not going to bed.  There wasn't anyone to make me go to bed.  Lesson #1 of the year learned just a few days in, my husband helps me have a sensible bedtime.  I stay up doing irrelevant stupid crap, and next thing I know it's 2AM.

I have a year under my belt full of not-so-extravagant memories (well, other than that whole having a baby thing).  Many nights of sitting on the floor next to the couch while my daughter practiced braiding my hair.  Overhearing arguments on which flavor the kids want to sprinkle on their popcorn.  I potty-trained a toddler and got her to give up her blanket sucking habit.  I watched the same little girl squeal with glee as she rode her first "bike" through the house, because I couldn't harsh her reality and reserve the bike as an outside toy when it made her so happy.  I did car repairs, 6 months pregnant, in the driveway with my husband helping me via Facetime.  I hugged a little girl with a tear stained face and promised her she wasn't the worst daughter in the world.  Lots of colds to medicate, lots of booboos needing kisses.

Dishes have sat in the sink overnight and my living room rug has been covered in Angry Birds stickers for weeks.  It's not a glamorous life, but I survived.  I didn't need a superpower to get through it.  The only power I have is love for my husband and our family.

This journey is almost over.  I'll probably clean out my fridge again before I pick him up at the airport for old times sake.

The Great Mug Swap of 2013

My BFF Megan, who I met in Hawaii after bonding over the fact our girls were born on the same EXACT date, is hosting a mug swap over on her blog.  We would love you to join!  Anyone is welcome to participate, as long as you can promise to mail something out!  Click on the button above and it should direct you to her blog to enter the swap.  I'm so excited, I started looking for a mug already!

Bayou Marcus Water Reclamation Facility - Great Florida Birding Trail

Welcome to story time with Audrey.  This post has nothing to do with hair, make up or intentional snark.  Just writing about a day I spent with my kids.  I got some amazing pictures of them prior to them heading off for their first day of school, but once they got to school this is what I got....

Endangering small children everywhere taking drive-by iPhone pictures.

I decided I wanted to go back up to the school on the weekend and get better pictures of them at their school.  This may seem unimportant to some, but this is the third school my oldest has attended since she was in kindergarten.  Pictures at the school may be some of the only visual memories they have to hold on to for that particular life experience for them.  I also am starting to get deeper into my core courses for my degree program and needed to practice with my camera and play a little more with photoshop.  I can make excuses for anything.

The universe had other plans.  The school was sealed off tighter than my dogs teeth on her rawhide bone when my husband tries to steal it with "the hand", her arch nemesis.  Pad locked gates, no dice.  I turned the car around and we toyed around with the idea of going to the beach to take pictures, but they had on good shoes and didn't want to get them sandy.  We then thought about Fort Barrancas.  I quickly changed my mind.  I've been told about a wetland birding area that was a good place for the kids to run around.  It has an elevated boardwalk, so hopefully no danger of the creepy crawlies that tend to co-habitate in the swampy areas.

We quickly found the Bayou Marcus Water Reclamation Facility Great Florida Birding Trail (what a freaking mouthful).  Another family was getting out of their car to go for a jog right in front of us, so we had to get creative with the shots at the beginning to keep them out of the background until they got far enough ahead of us.

For it being a birding trail, we saw absolutely zero birds.  We saw ten zillion dragonflies, a few giant fuzzy bees (yes, that's the technical term), and a couple lizards that moved too fast to get a picture. 

The boardwalk was built over the Bayou Marcus Wetlands where the Water Reclamation Facility provides an abundance of clean, fresh water for the many different species living within the habitat.  Evidently there are many animals that call the wetlands home, although we saw none of them.  Obviously there is a large and diverse bird population with it being a birding trail, but there is also testament of there being deer, turkeys, gray foxes, raccoons, rabbits, beavers, bobcats, otters, snakes and alligators in the area.  I'm personally happy we didn't encounter the latter two of that list.  I probably would have flipped my shiz. 

It provided a nice background for pictures of the kids too.

Overall, we all had a blast.  One kid complained of the heat and another came  home with several bug bites.  We are planning on revisiting this area for sure in the future.  The girls want to take their dad when he comes home, and I think my dad would love it too.  It would be nice to actually see some wildlife other than bugs.  And next time I promise we won't be dressed for a fashion show.  Well,  Addison most likely will.  That kid marches to the beat of a different drum.

If you would like more information on this or other local birding trails you can visit http://www.floridabirdingtrail.com.

Wonder Week 12

I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on this baby business stuff.  I've had four and each one has been a completely different experience; each came with their own challenges.  I'm still trying to figure out when Ashton Kutcher is going to hop out  of my pantry and tell me I'm being punked, and hand me my real screaming, projectile vomitting baby. Ev is ah-mazing.  So super amazingly easy.  Last week that was not the case at all.  Cue Ashton Kutcher scene.

I had a friend on facebook mention in a status update that she thought her daughter was going through a Wonder Week.  Before even replying to her, I had to google Wonder Week.  Fourth kid and I had no flippin' clue what the hell a Wonder Week was.  Never heard of it.  So, I guess there is a book that breaks down a baby's fussy periods into Wonder Weeks or developmental growth periods.

Ev was about five weeks old at the time, and had been unusually fussy.  Typically we would point to these moments and say growth spurt and shrug our shoulders.  This Wonder Week stuff was making sense though.  It seemed to me that Ev was going through Wonder Week 5 at that time.

I won't lie.  I still haven't read the book, but I continually go back to the blog that I orginally found the information Who's That Mom.  I know I mentioned in my post about refinishing furniture, that Everlee was extremely fussy after the girls returned to school.  She turned 12 weeks the day that she turned into a turd.  After referencing the Wonder Weeks chart, this is what weeks 12 consists of:

Wonder Week 12 Developmental Milestone The World of Smooth Transitions: Baby's movements become less jerky; She is able to perceive more nuances in her senses Behavior May be quieter than usual; Sleeps poorly; Is clingy; Decreased appetite Activities Focus on sounds; Help baby grab/reach for objects; Help her feel different textures/fabrics

In our case she wasn't quieter than usual.  Well, I guess you could say she was in a sense.  She wasn't cooing as much, but she was screaming constantly when she wan't sleeping or eating.  Actually, her sleep wasn't bad and her appetite never decreased, but let's talk about how she's changed since she quit screaming.  She's making new sounds.  I left her laying on her playmat for visual stimulation the other day, and she started making these new cooing sounds.  She's definitely making more "yelling" sounds now instead of outright crying.  I can tell the difference between her crying and her complaining at this point.  She also seems to be able to tell the difference between our faces.  She obviously knows my face, but she reacts differently to each one of her sisters.  She has a favorite.  I'll keep that my secret.

Her motor skills are the shining star of improvements for this Wonder Week.  She's batting at her toys with a purpose, trying to grab for them.  She's purposely attempting to shove her fist in her mouth to suck on her fingers, all the while going cross eyed trying to watch her fist go in her mouth.  She's grabbing at her ears, and pulling her hair while she nurses.  And the cutest thing that she's started is placing the bottoms of her feet together and rubbing them back and forth when she's sitting in her chair.

It's only been a few days since I started noticing these changes.  It's amazing to be conscious of the small developments she's making as she grows now that I've familiarized myself with the Wonder Weeks theory.  Now to work on getting her to take her pacifier again.  I refuse to have another blanket sucker.  One blanket sucker is enough for any family.

Recycling Furniture

*Knock knock* Hi there, remember me?  I apologize for my extended absence, but life kidnapped me for a few weeks.  I finally got the two older girls back in school.  I took the week leading up to that trying to just BE with them.  I expected to be able to dive full fledge back into the blog and videos once I only had two of them at home during the day, but little did I know I'd have my hands even fuller with the baby.  Boom actually screams less, but Ev is used to a constant revolving door of faces.  Only seeing my glorious mug continuously became boring for her and she started screaming for more around the second day of school.  Here are my chicklets on the first day and the past few years -

2013

2012

2011

Another thing I was doing besides entertaining the baby, was just trying to relax for once.  And in my process of relearning how to relax, I've become re-addicted to Pinterest after a long hiatus.  I know I talk about hair and make up a lot, but my first love is home decor.  If you follow me on Pinterest (see that big P button over there??), you will know that I tend to favor pinning house stuff than I do recipes or clothes.

In all my pinning haste, I am itching to go thrift shopping now.  I don't know what I need or want, I just know I need to go.  I also am feeling the need to start painting.  Just painting SOMETHING.  Canvas, walls, furniture....

We have a coffee table and end table set that need refinished.  Upon looking at them I believe the sides are laminate.  Sort of a bummer because I thought some sort of a gray stain on them would be gorgeous with my new couch.  I need opinions on color!  I think we will need to paint them.  I'm thinking gray paint is still doable.  Or white.  I don't know.  In a perfect world I'd be insanely rich and could just pick and choose whatever the heck I wanted in my room and order it custom.  I'd love a clear acrylic coffee table, or a round funky upholstered ottoman.  But I live in the real world, where the majority of our money gets eaten and is not laying around gathering dust until I decide to spend it on the perfect functional home accessory.

This is my couch.  Ignore the baby mess and the giant child draped across the chaise.  It's the Teddy sectional from Macy's in slate.  I love this couch.  Love may not even be a strong enough word.  When we decided we needed a new couch, I scanned through houzz.com and found a similar couch that was blue velvet.  I took me a month to find something similar that was in the price point I needed.   It's overstuffed and amazing quality.  And it's huge.  All four of us (me plus the three big girls) can sit on it without touching each other.  Just what I wanted (I live on the chaise....and that's usually where I blog from).

These are the tables that need to be redone.  I'm toying with the idea of using wood filler in the crevices on top to make a smooth surface and lessen the country feel to them.  Obviously change out the hardware.  So I just need a paint color.  Our entertainment center is cherry, and that's not changing because we just got speakers that match the console perfectly.

So tell me what you think!  Opinions wanted!

Oh, and anyone want to buy that rug off of me??  Or a red couch??  Or a set of tan recliners????  I need to start purging out this old furniture before I can start getting new stuff in here that goes with my new amazing couch.

I wish to unsmell that

*Source*

Have you ever smelled something and immediately wished that you could unsmell it?  The word unsmell should be added to the dictionary, because it's a real thing that evokes real emotion.  It's crazy because the word never popped into my head until I wanted to unsmell something, but it was an immediate reaction.  I wish to unsmell that.

I'm trying to change up the colors of my living room a bit because of my gorgeous new amazing couch (seriously, never realized you could LOVE a piece of furniture before).  I bought it in a color that doesn't match anything else in my house.  It's charcoal gray and everything else in my house is very autumnal colors: red, dark green, golden yellow, etc.  While shopping one day I ran across some glass candle hurricanes that were a bright dark pink color, almost magenta.  I thought it would be beautiful to pair with the charcoal gray of my couch with maybe a few splashes of peridot green and some metallics.  So, I scooped them up and brought them home to play around with where I wanted them to live.  I found the perfect spot and then added a plain clear glass hurricane I already own with them to create a trio of varying heights.  Problem is that the other two are pink ombre.  So the clear hurricane sits there and begs to be looked at.  I decided to pull it in with the other two, that I could get a candle the magenta color.  Super boring so far, right?  M'kay.

The girls and I ran down to my favorite store in existence and started browsing their candle department.  There were a couple options that would work.  Next is to decide wish one smelled the best, right?  I quickly decided that although they both smelled okay, I preferred one over the other and I thought it went with the look I was going for.

Target Melt Scented Pillar in French Tulip

Happy with our decision, we tossed in the cart and pulled out of the candle aisle.  On the end cap happen to be another group of candles I think Target is "targeting" (see what I did there?! haha) the college crowd for.  There aren't any pillars, but there was one that possessed the same color I needed in it's packaging.  I popped open the tin containing the candle and immediately wanted to have no sense of smell.  Sweet baby Jesus, please let that putridness leave my nostrils as fast as it entered.

It's sort of ironic that it's being targeted to the college aged consumer, because this candle smells like morning after the party beer bottles.  I can't be the only one that knows this smell.  You either feel too good or too awful to spend the evening cleaning up after the party.  You leave the massive amounts of beer bottles laying around inside and out on the patio to clean up in the morning.  Bottles left out to provide a just barely there watery death for whatever poor bug decided to crawl inside.  That smell.  Rancid hops and spit.  Gag.

I meant to take a picture of it when we were in there earlier and got sidetracked by impatient children.  Now that I'm home and thought I could just pull an image from the website to show you, I can't find it.  They must know what a crap product it is that they won't even sell it online!

UPDATE!!!:  I got a picture of it!  Here it is.  Don't tempt yourself to smell it if you see it.  You've been warned.

Now, I don't want to gang up on beer and how it smells, because it's not all that bad.  Yes, going to a brewery smells like a giant tin can of vomit.  But that fresh, crisp just opened beer smell?  It is GOOD.  I actually found a body wash I think mimics this smell very well.  Call me crazy, but I will bath myself in beer soap.

*source*

And look there.  It won some award I wasn't aware of.  I must not be alone in the love of smelling like just uncorked liquid yeast and hops and barley and all other things that make beer good.

What is something that you wish you could unsmell?  And is there something strange that you secretly love to smell?  And don't say the smell of old books.  Everbody loves that smell.  It's not strange to run around smelling books in a library.  I may or may not have gotten a paper cut on my nose once....

*Source*

See!  There's a meme.  If there's a meme it means it's not weird, right?

I cried in a dressing room today

And then I cried while I was driving to my daughter's tennis practice.  And then I cried for almost the entire hour I sat in the car during tennis practice, with a sleeping baby and a three year old spider monkey.  I was never so thankful to have remembered to grab my sunglasses on the way out of the house.

You see, it all started yesterday.  It was my daughter's 10th birthday.  I wasn't being completely sappy and nostalgic about her growing up, but I wanted that moment in time documented.  Her and I would never have that day back.  So, I asked the second in command munchkin to take a picture of her sister and me.  I knew before even looking at the photo that I wouldn't be happy with what I saw, but like I said before I needed the day documented.

Oh boy.  I guess I didn't prepare myself all that well.  I went ahead and cropped it down and sent it over the airwaves to my husband sitting in the desert.  I may be disgusted with myself, but I knew any piece of familiarity and of home would be gold to him.

I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to stay up beat and positive for the kids sake.  No reason my insecurities should affect them, and in the end my daughter ended her birthday with the biggest grin I've seen on her face in ages.  I ended her birthday with a giant knot in my stomach.

Now, I realize I just had a baby.  Can I tell you a secret?  I cried when I found out I was pregnant.  I cried for many reasons, but hind sight reflecting to this moment right now...one of the main reasons I cried was because I knew I'd have this battle to fight all over again.  I've lost myself.

Today I was the lady in the dressing room, desperately trying on jeans in a much larger size than normal praying that they would magically make things better.  It was just that my clothes didn't fit correctly, not that I was lumpier than a pan of monkey bread.  Cue the screaming baby.  Half dressed, I pulled her out of her carseat and sat down on the bench in front of a full length mirror to nurse her.  Then the tears started to roll.  A few other insignificant things occurred in the next twenty minutes that turned me into a weepy mess. My poor husband and best friend.  I texted them both, so upset, over an hour period of time completely draining my phone battery.

The thing is I can see a light at the end of this deployment tunnel.  It's close, so close.  But it's still so far away.  As much as this is deployment related, I feel like it's related to every person who has ever had a baby.  I've lost myself.  I've lost the ability to care for myself.

While I may have a crapload more children than most people and while I may be doing all of the parenting alone at the moment, I remember feeling this way after I had my oldest daughter when my husband was home with me more often than not.  There is something about being pregnant that you realize you are sharing your body.  That it's not just about you anymore.  But once the beautiful, perfect little baby is out, you expect to start regaining the outline of your former self.  It just doesn't happen fast enough.

I never pee alone.  Exercise?  I wish I had five minutes to wash my hair.  What did you have for dinner last night?  I ate a bowl of cold baked beans in bed at eleven o'clock.  Breakfast?  I ate a Cliff bar and dropped crumbs on the baby who I happened to be simultaneously nursing.  I'm good like that.  Super duper multi-tasker.

All seems perfect in my world.  Kids are clean, well fed, and thriving.  They have smiles on their faces and possess more material crap than any child should.

I know that when you become a mom you magically start sporting an invisibility cloak, making you disappear to everyone in the world except MAYBE a few other moms who may or may not being seeing you with a severely critical eye.  We just need to try and remember that we aren't really invisible.    Just when I'm being my own worst critic, the people I love the most pull my head out of the sand and remind me that it will be okay.  It's all a phase.  This moment will not define me.  And that big, gummy smile profiled by those round soft cheeks...it's all worth it.

August 2013 Ipsy Glam Bag Unboxing!

I received my Ipsy bag for the month of August in the mail yesterday!  Watch the video to see what was in mine.  I will put up a separate review of products later this week.

Hi 5 For Friday

Welcome back to Hi 5 For Friday!!!!!

Another week down people.  I can not express how good it is to see the weeks fly by at this point.  We are like in the single digits, no lie.  My love will be home soon!

For the time being, you can read about five things that made me happy this week....if my iPhoto quits playing spazz on me.  So lame.

#1 Beauty

Smashbox Photo Finish Primer

I won a sample size tube of Smashbox primer from their website a few weeks back.  The tiny tube showed up in my mailbox this week.  I've been wanting to try it for a while, but I just couldn't justify the price.  Remember how I told you I was cheap back in this blog post?  I've only used it for a few days, but I'm loving what I see.  If I do decide to splurge and pay for a full size tube, I'm interested in the peach color that is supposed to help with color correction.  This pregnancy induced melasma is needing to take a hike!  I guess I'll just keep attempting to find a cover up for it until it decides to do so.

#2 Fashion 

Minnetonka Sandals

There ya go, a giant picture of my feet.  Dontcha love how my toe polish matches the color of the leather?  Sorry if you are one of those people who hate feet.  I think mine are kind of cute with exception of that giant fire ant bite on my toe.  Those suckers take forever to heal!  It's been a month already, seriously.  Anyway, I love my new hot pink fringy sandals.  I wish my legs were in shape to show them off properly in amazing shorts or a super cute dress.

#3 Home

Magenta

The girls and I had a few shopping trips for home decor this week.  Gillian's decided that all she wants for her birthday is her own room, and to decorate it.  Her and I spent a considerable amount of time in Marshall's and TJ Maxx digging through stuff like kids in a candy store, all the while the younger three did not have as much fun.  I think Brenna was just a little jealous and ready to redecorate her room now.  Addison just wanted toys.  I found all this really pretty magenta stuff and thought it would be a nice color to accompany my new slate couch.  I'm liking it so far.  Addy won't let anyone else sit with the "pink" pillow though.  It's quite a bone of contention with her.

#4 Music

Grouplove - Ways To Go

This song has been on repeat in my car all week.  I've even gotten Gillian hooked on it.  And girl's got moves.  I think I need to film a video of me dancing like her.  EPIC.  New album Spreading Rumors out in September.

#5 Family

My Gillian Clare

This girl is in my favorites for this week.  My oldest baby.  She drives me bat shit crazy.  But I love her.  And I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday.  I remember not really have expectations when I went in the hospital to have her.  I remember being a giant wimp and trying to take the easy way out after a long, tiresome labor.  I remember saying she was so fat when they handed her to me (not a heartless remark by any means...she was fat haha).  I remember sort of glazing over and spacing out for a few hours. I remember staying up all night, staring at her, the most perfect little baby I had ever met.  And I remember every day of her life since then, even if she doesn't.  Happy birthday little piglet.

This post is brought to you by Lauren for the High Five for Friday link up.

First Impression: Masque Bar Anti-Blemish Mud Mask

Watch the video to see my thoughts and opinions on this new line of masks you can find at Target.

Beauty Blender Dupe #FAIL

Okay ya'll, time to get serious.  Okay, you all, I don't know why I wrote ya'll.  I don't actually speak that way.  Hard to take myself seriously sayin' thangs like ya'll. (Yes, I know thangs isn't a word.) Okay, Audrey, SHUT.UP.NOW.  Ahem.

On to the topic at hand.  Anyone that truly knows me, deep down, knows that I'm cheap.  Well, maybe not cheap, but I refuse to pay a premium when I can get the same item for a much lower price.  And I LOVE bargain shopping.  Hence my addiction to stores like Ross, TJ Maxx and Marshall's.

I'm so obsessed with getting a great deal, that if someone compliments me on any part of my ensemble, I will respond with what a great deal I got on said item.  Oh, you like my shoes?  Thanks!  I only paid $12 for them.  75% off girl!  Oh, my eye make up looks really good today?  Thank you, I hit up a buy one get one sale at Ulta and scored HUGE with coupons.  It's like word vomit.  I can't keep it from spewing forth from my mouth.

Let's talk makeup applicators.  Most of the really great, quality applicators are spendy.  MAC brushes and Sigma brushes (although they are supposedly the more economical brand) are a lot for this momma to bite off. The brushes I'm currently lusting after are from Tarte.  They are soooo pretty, seem to be as environmentally friendly as they can get, and they are super duper soft.  But, I'm cheap.  So I'm currently collecting as many of the Real Techniques brushes as I can.  I'll do a review and explanation of that line at another time.



The latest and greatest, yet I'm still seemingly late to the party, of make up applicators is the Beauty Blender.  It's apparently the unicorn of sponges.  It contains magical properties that can not be understood by anyone, believed to make one's make up also contain magical properties.  It blends your make up like Claude Monet himself painted your face.  But for the price it better poo golden turds like a unicorn.  Like I said, I'm cheap.

The Beauty Blender, a pink egg shaped sponge, retails for $19, or $29 for two that they so creatively package in the shape of a heart.  I haven't taken a recent dose of crazy medicine, so I've been looking into a cheaper alternative.  There are a lot around if you look.  Sonia Kashuk has one that is shaped like a certain...well...never mind, I'll keep this G rated.  Anyway, you can get a Sonia Kashuk "beauty sponge" that is supposed to be a decent, cheaper alternative to the Beauty Blender.  Myself, still unprovoked to spend $12 on a indecently shaped sponge, decided to look a little further for a cheaper alternative.

I found the exact purplish, indecently shaped sponge under an alias at TJ Maxx during a haul this week for $4.  Alright dude, imma grab it up and test it out!  I've used my new little purple friend, we shall call her Luscious, a few times.  I give her the name Luscious, because after a few good rides she starts to rub you wrong.  Literally.

Image courtesy of www.makeupbymerry.com

The past few days I started to use a couple new products in my skin care regime.  And the past few days I started getting red splotches the size of a dime in random areas on my face, mostly on my cheeks.  The first few days I didn't notice it until after I applied my blush, and then I spent far too long trying to *correct* my splotchy make up thinking it was the blush and not my skin itself.  Today I finally pin pointed it to my knock-off magical beauty sponge, Luscious.  My skin was completely fine, if not better than normal, until after I applied my foundation.  My foundation routine hasn't changed in quite some time.  Same product I've used for months.  Only change is the way I apply my foundation.

Now that I've pinpointed the culprit for creating my red itchy splotches I'm not sure I want to even try the Beauty Blender.  Apparently there is some chemical in these sponges that I'm allergic to.  I spent the majority of my morning googling my brains out to figure out what it could be.  All I could come up with is how these are actually a good alternative to the cheaper wedge sponges because they are latex free and supposedly hypoallergenic.  Well, I never had an issue with the cheap wedge sponges and I am with these, so I guess it's not a latex allergy.

I'm kind of heartbroken.  I had high hopes.  It seems no matter what fantastic brush I try for my foundation, I always end up with brush streaks and have to go back with a damp sponge to blend things in.  I wanted a magical, golden pooing, unicorn sponge.  All I got is a red splotchy, itchy face.

PS - Evidently there is a warning on the package of the faux wannabe magical sponge that states "WARNING: This product and/or its packaging contain a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects, and/or reproductive harm."  Well, that's fun.  Let us voluntarily melt off our faces.

PPS - Luscious was named by my fantastic googling powers and the words "stripper names".  Don't do it.  And if you do, DO NOT click on the link for stripper name generator.  It's not quite like the name generators that were floating around social media a few years ago.  You've been warned.

Quit Washing Your Hair. Dry Shampoo.

How often do you wash your hair?  I know, I know, random question for Tuesday in the middle of the night.  I needed a shower.  And you see, this is the only time that I have to myself to shower most days.  It's the only time of day that the house remains quiet enough that the baby doesn't wake up from hearing a pin drop...or a three year old scream.  While in the shower my thoughts run from one meaningless topic to the next.  This also happens when the most mature conversation you hold in a day is with a 9 year old about what shenanigans Daily Grace is up to on her Youtube channel.  Speaking of Youtube, you can watch me using dry shampoo in the video below.  During editing I realized that I really didn't do that great of a job messifying my messy bun, but I had kids screaming at me from the other room.  Do whatcha gotta do.

I have to be honest.  I hate washing my hair.  I really do.  It's not that I particularly like it being dirty (although I really think it looks better when it's dirty), it's just that I have so.much.hair.  It takes forever to dry and then another eternity to style.  I've completely given up on blow drying.  My number one reasoning being the obvious noise that it creates with a sleeping baby in the house, but it takes freaking forever.  And then at the end of forever it's still too damp to put heat tools on.  Who knew that my torturous relationship with water and shampoo would actually start benefiting me in the hair styling process?!

As of recently, I wash my hair twice a week, or every four days on average.  And it's amazing.  I only wash it on the fourth day because my scalp gets a little itchy, not from oiliness.  Actually, I don't really have any greasy hair issues anymore at all.  I give all that credit to dry shampoo.  Dry shampoo is like super fine baby powder in an aerosol spray can that absorbs the oils in your hair.  It helps extend the length of time between washes, and also as a bonus I find it adds some texturizing to my hair also.  I even like to spray it on my just washed and freshly dried hair to help with root lift.

Dry shampoo is in my holy grail of beauty products that I can't live without in a civilized world.  (I say this because if the planet went to shit and zombies took over, I know I probably won't be caring too much about dry shampoo.  I also would like to point out that I'm a sarcastic ass 99% of the time.  So I do say with the biggest, most caring heart you may ever come across, I know there are many people who would love to have running water and dry shampoo is a major luxury.

Click to take you to Amazon for purchase

 Now after that majorly depressing PSA, back to the dry shampoo.  Have you guys tried it?  And if you are an avid user such as myself, what brand is your favorite?  I feel like I've tried every brand available to me drugstore and a few higher end brands.  My current favorite is Batiste for dark brown hair.  It is slightly difficult to find.  I know you can find it at Ulta, and recently I've been picking mine up at TJ Maxx.  Gotta love a discount on the products you buy constantly.  I love the way it smells!!!!  Batiste has several different scents or "flavors" I guess you could say, and they all smell differently and behave a little differently.  I like the medium to dark brown variation because it doesn't put a white cast on  your hair like many dry shampoos tend to do (remember I said microparticle baby powder?).  This "flavor" has a brown tint.  But be careful.  I don't know how many of you are Real Housewives of New Jersey fans.  The scene where Joe Gorga admits that the black stuff all over everyone's skin and clothes after the fight scene was from his hairspray...my brain automatically jumped to my dry shampoo ha ha.  I thought, oh crap, immabe rubbing black tar on people.  No, not really.  But that's what it made me think about.

Dry shampoo.  Try it.  Love it.  Quit washing your hair.  It'll be amazing.

I've been pinned on Pinterest!!

So crazy.  I knew of my bow holder being linked there (which by the way needs updated in a bad way...I can't in good faith have people keep pinning that thing), but I hadn't realized that my wreath hanging on my front door  was floating around Pinterest Land!  You see...I went about posting it there the wrong way.  Instead of doing a blog post about how I made it and taking the time to do it correctly, I just uploaded the pic straight to Pinterest.  I lost all ownership in the process.  Its the wreath I made last year for the fall.  I have the kids back to school pictures of them posing in front of it.  I was just telling Gillian, my oldest, that I needed to make a new updated one.  Its not only sun-faded from hanging out for so long, but a nice wasp family has taken up residence on the backside of it.  I've sprayed the crap of the thing and sent the remaining family members on their merry way, but I need to pull it down (probably with a ten foot pole) and beat the crap out of it so that no traces of wasps exist.  By the time I'm done obliterating the wreath, I probably won't have a choice but to replace it.I'm thinking if I plan on making another one, I may as well do it here for you.  Is anyone interested in that?  I won't say it's my idea, sprouted straight from my glorious brain, but I will say that the person I "borrowed" from is selling the bad boys on Etsy for eighty bucks a pop.  Say wha?  Yeah, that's what I said.  Eighty freaking dollllars.

I also made and pinned the cereal box turned into a random crap holder pictured below.  *Sigh*, well I've learned my lesson now.  I can only hope pointing out my mistakes saves someone from some grief.  Take credit where credit is due.